jiaying. (:
fifth april.

family, friends & dance

HCMAD<3 07S79 adeline ann audrey ainan bertilla charmaine cherylchang clarice estelle ezra huitian jess jiayi jiayun joanne kelvin liuqian meiling mianrong mieoteng nicholas nicole qianying ruixiong sherene serene shionyee siyu stacy tisiana tingyu thomas vanessagoh xianhuan xiyu xueen yueyang yunning
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let's chase the summer and forget the world.

exams are two days away!another half an hour and it will be saturday.oh man.this is so terrible.im forgetting stuff which i obviously studied.and as exams come nearer and nearer i have been sleeping earlier and earlier= = which is not good.not good at all.i feel like a big time slacker.haha we were just talking about it.how can we be expected to memorise so many things all together?like once we read something new we forget what we studied one day ago.my god.if we can do it we must be such geniuses man(: but too bad im not.ahh.

i was feeling really sad today.which is NOT GOOD.cos the exams are two days away and im supposed to be concentrating on MUGGING.and yet im wasting time here feeling sad.cos it's our last day at school!well,a proper schooling day at least.for four years.it all ends today.haha.it's so so amazing really.and i really kinda miss all my teachers a whole lot.mrs wong-who made me love biology and bio lessons so so much(: mrs chua-who specially designed a card with our individual names on it yeah with a quote pasted at the back.she actually bothered to spend time doing it man im so touched(: ms fu-haha for loving us so much yet not being able to put away her pride to tell us haha but we can all feel your love and care(: mrs deline soh!-im so going to MISS HER for,well,everything.how she made our lessons so so much fun.for being the funkiest head of level ever.her dramamama ways and yeah,everything.mrs seeeeeee-for bring a fabulous math and form teacher,always being so patient with us no matter how badly we all treated her.and now we all love her a lot.i do,at least(:

it's pretty sad youknow.like when i realised how wonderful all my teachers are,we are going to leave.there really isnt much time left to tell them how much i appreciate them.for being there.i bet things are going to be a hell lot different in jc.i dont like the feeling of being left to fend for myself.well anyway.after the exams im going to write something to each of them.i swear.seriously,nanyang has done SO much for me.it gave me so so many things.for now,back to mugging.): jiayouJIAYOU!

i love studying with eunice jiayuan yueyang!
our JY exclusive study group hahahahah ;D cos they are all such lovely people who make me laugh and laugh and when the time calls for it they tell me it's time to concentrate and mug. (: and they are soooooo uh. huachis hahaha they help me think of plans we say stupid stuff sometimes and we're all so random that it's really very funny. (:
eight in the morning!

i think i've never felt more wronged in my whole life.

if thats the way you choose to think of me,i can only say im so disappointed in you.

i will miss you.but i guess.it all ends here.

Chasing Cars
-Snow Patrol

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

life is so so sucky these days.exams crap screamy grandmother emo shit mood swings getting super duper depressed then damn happy the next second and sometimes like nw feeling damn pissed for goddamn no reason at all everything just seems to be in the way need to mug but the lack of motivation AH WHATEVER.sometimes I REALLY WISH I CAN MAKE MYSELF LET GO OF EVERYTHING.why does everything just matter so muchh to me.if i dont need to care about all these i think i would be a much happier person.i have been sleeping damn early these days,cos i dont want to feel the confusion the pain the whatever i also dontknw why im feeling that way.im turning crazy.i want to cry but somehow the tears just wont come and all it's doing is to make me feel even worse.bloody hell.bloody you.

//sorry for swearing.just couldnt help it.AIYAHH WHATEVER LA.

on a random note.we went to watch the NUS DANCE ENSEMBLE performace yesterday night at the University Cultural Centre.it was worth every bit of the money we paid for it.it was so wonderful.amazing technicalities the right energy the just-right amount of hotness and ohmygod.MS SABRINA WAS AMAZING.she is my idol man.and she is so so cute that we love her so much(:

when i get home.everything is falling apart.

i have a terrible grandmother at home who rolled her eyes at me (hard) twice today and ignored me and walked away when i call her.she is such a suckass.

sometimes i wonder if i am sinning by being so unfilial.but when i come to think of it.she made me suffered so muchh.im just wasting days of my life here with her.which can never come back.she made me cry so many times but i've nw realised its not worth my tears over her though sometimes i still cant help it.she made me tremble and made me feel like i was absolutely worthless.she called me and my sister and my brother names.vulgarities.she taught my brother vulgarities by saying them in front of him.she made me feel so much fear and nervousness.i would rather say a LA speech in front of my class a dozen times all over and i would think it wouldnt feel half as bad.or half as torturing.she wastes every day of my life for the past four years and going,worrying about her mood and how she will react and how i should react to her.thinking about her tires me out.because of her many of my brain cells died i would suppose.because of her im not leading the kind of life i want.
just thinking about all these.my guiltyness vanishes.i mean.i have like the perfect friends the perfect dancemates and i totally enjoy time with my mother brother and sister when we're relaxed and all having fun.and you are there.ruining my life.over and over again.

tell me people if im being too much.i would like to be corrected rather than continue doing what i shouldnt do.

): everything would just get better if you were here.if only.

I CANT SIGN IN TO MESSENGER.MSN HATES ME.ARGHHH.
the thought of going online has been keeping me alive since just nw i was trying my best to complete the 2005 nanyang bio prelim paper then ten pm came i was happy!i switched on the com which was so lovable just a while ago BUT I CANT SIGN IN TO MSN BLOODY HELL !@#$%^&* ): ): ): actually i dont really like that windows live messenger thing.it keeps screwing up ever since i downloaded it.and i cant see the changes in the fonts and colours and everything.it always appears to me as MS SANS SERIF BLACK.well.and hahah i knw this doesnt link up but conservations online became like more blah i dontknow just a feeling i dontlike after windows live messenger.so i wanted to get the old one back.i dontmind if i can be happy(: but i cant seem to find it anymore.anw i uninstalled live messenger just nw and downloaded again it still cant work kill it ughh.

hahah went on a studying-turned-shopping trip yesterday afternoon with jiayuan and yueyang hahah it was so funny cos yueyang left kap leaving jiayuan and i alone and we were trying our best to do our work (we really were!) we just feel like sleeping hahah then i randomly said "jiayuan i wanna go shoppingggg." then jiayuan's eyes totally lit up and asked "you want to go??" HAHAH then we texted yueyang then THERE WE GO.from kap to townnn(: we didnt want to spend any money really but ended up buying like two tops eachh like wth we were supposed to save money anw we were supposed to be studying bt so we were already off-taskk so oh well(: we were happyhappy! :D jiayuan was supposed to get a red top though but she didnt hahahahahahh topshopp so rockss btww(: and i wanna go shoppingg again whee.sounds so muchh cooler hippier more fun rockier than MUGGING AND BOOKS. :D anw yueyang needs to teach me online shop that online shopppper hahah wow whee hahah yay.okay i sound so muchh like a slacker(:

i did math trigo with mrs see and wanteng today after chinese prelims outside the math dept till five pm okay!consolation! :D

okay this is so sad.i STILL cant sign in ughhh what stupid error code 80072745 whoever is very free can help me check it out and teach me how to SIGN IN OMGG ahh ): alright alright.i've got nothing to do online right nw and it's almost twelve maybe i should go and sleep.and i seriously hope i can post this page.the other time i tried for more than half hour cos that stupid word verification wont appear then i had to click on that handicapp sign (if you knw what i mean) and type the numbers as i hear them.whatever.blogger so sucks.xanga is the best(: im hungry but i cant eat anymoreee ): i need to lose weight hmmm hahah alrights nights people <3 <3 <3

i'm more than a plane;

hello people.sigh nobody is online nw and im so bored! ):
people update your blogs so i've got something to read! (:

ANYWAYYY.siyu is right.there are still kind souls around this world after all.my wallet/purse/pouch/whatever yeah you know that white thing is found! :D it's returned in a white envelope on it written my choachukang northvale address.then at the back wrote: from singapore indian.(: hahah yay!and there are stamps somemore!like ONE BUCK worth of stamps!cuz i think the content is too heavy for the normal 23cts one.this person must be really really kind!REALLY.dont mind paying one buck just for the stamps.to get it back to me.whoever he is,he must have understood the confusion and whatever crap i was feeling a few days ago and those trouble i have to go through.and decided that it is important for all these stufff to get back to me.whoever you are,THANKYOU.thankyou so much.i wish there were more kind souls like you around.thanks soooo muchhh.and may God bless you :D

now i dont need to make a new IC which is like so expensive(: and with my ez link card i dont need to pay 90cts for bus rides anymore :D the bus uncles have been telling me to pay 90cts!grr.do i really look that old come on i look every bit like the student i am :D yay for bus pass!dont ever lose your ez link cards cos they are really important!(unless you are the kind who have people fetching you everywhere you go) saves you all the trouble.of worrying whether you have enough coins to last you for the day.purposely gives a note for change of coins just to make sure.wow.and thanks bunny for being so nice and concerned when i lost my ez link card and offered to take the trouble to go with me to make a new one :D in fact we were supposed to go after studying at kap today when the good news came that it was found in the northvale letterbox(: i was really really touched!thanks so muchhh(:

went back nanyang to hand up math portfolio today and popped in at studio for a while(: it feels great seeing all of you again dancers i love you!hugs <3

been practically camping at kap this entire sept hols with jiayuan yueyang and sometimes chit jiayi wanteng sharon meisiew and today bunny(: wow i have been there since friday last week.i can recognise the people at the counter already hahah :D and its so fattening i have been eating mcflurries nuggets fries fries and lots of fries and lots more bacon sticks wow.i think im going to gain like ten kilos after this sept hols.but i was trying hard to study!not very productive though.but at least it's something :D mug hard jiaying!

corinna just left for the States like maybe a few minutes ago.got her message just nw and it was like so sudden.i was thinking ahh shes really leaving.and nw yeah.she left. ): SIGH.dont think you will read this corinna but i will really miss you!its like.girl you were my classmate for four whole years!we werent exactly close like hell pals but you were always there to brighten my day/drag me along to some photocopying shop or something or see some teacher ahhh.its going to be weird not seeing bubbly cute you around in class.hope you come back really soon yah.december 18th.i will be looking forward to that day.and you better keep in touch and not forget me.dont forget me dont forget twoohnine04 and fourohthree06.and i will always remember your call to me just nw when you were at the airport! ): will miss your voice.continue singing dear.remember how i loved ants summer and you were always there to hold my hand and sing it upon request.my i will really miss you.all the best cor i love you! <3

i dont like seeing people leave ): it makes me sad.and there is this sense of loss which i cant really pinpoint.but yeah you know.sigh.i thought maybe i am too dependent on the people around me and i should learn to be more independent.but jess says its not good to rely on myself too.cos sometimes we can even fail ourselves.mm true.but yeah.sigh.i guess youre right jess.its just has to happen.everyone moves on. ):

to everybody i know!i love you! <3 i dont think i can even live life without each and every one of you who are in my life right nw.and im probably going to freak out if you suddenly tell me you are going to be gone.(see how important all of you are :D ) soo dont ever leave alright.but its stupid.i know people will still leave somehoww.): well if you are.at least let me know early so i gotta have some mental preparation.well.instead of missing those who have left.try treasuring those who are still here(: love to everyone! <3

alright.i slept at one yesterday and i am pretty happy about it.cos i was really tired and my net connection kinda sucked so i cant be bothered to go fix it.let it screw :D and well no ones online right nw its boring i shall go sleep(: 1239 wow this is a record i haven been sleeping before like two am in the morning for like months maybe(: hmmm nights my lovess.<3

the sight of you makes my heart go wild;

im so stupid.so damn careless guess what i lost my wallet/purse/pouch whatever you know that white thing yeah i lost it today at orchard cineleisure my gawd.my mother was pissed and told me she didnt want to care about me told me to settle things myself.i filed a police report (the report is kinda funny) then she msged me and asked is my ic gone too i said yes then WAH she like exploded.when i called her again she practically SCREAM HER LUNGS OUT into my poor right ear (which is already kinda deaf) this im sure meisiew can be witness to since she was right beside me on my right when it happened.and she was like freaked out that she can hear your screams over my phone that she looked stunned.and why?cos it costs a bloody freaking hundred bucks.more concerned about the money,as usual.what can i say.and when i got back i showed her that police report thing she was unbelievable.she was like saying wah now old already hor even went to the POLICE STATION then she was like reprimanding me like why the hell did i get the guts to get to a police station like its such a brave thing to do and i will never do it without her around that kinda thing.and that you know how they always say it in chinese,hard feathers now know how to fly.YEAH you know.its freaking crap can.i know its very well my freaking fault but at the very least i thought that an encouraging mother will stand by you.i mean,im already feeling so terrible worried and lost without all these necessities and oh my KEYS TOO omgg and all you did was to rub it in?i dontknow but if i were you i will like immediately bring my daughter to do all those replacements and everything so to make her life more managable.i know i deserve a lesson but im already feeling so guilty and all youre saying is making me feel even worse.thanks a lot man.you can sound strict and firm.but at least let me know you give a freaking damn.it was like this when i lost my phone too.when other mothers will scold but they will put themselves in their daughters' shoes and yeah,get the right things done.you didnt.you said i could live without a phone.which i very well cant.maybe this proves how little you know about me after all.and now im wondering how am i going to live through my days without my dear ez link card and ATM omg and i lost 20 bucks i know it isnt a LOT but well it means a lot to me and now im in huge debt cos i borrowed money from yueyang jiayuan and meisiew and AH.KILL ME.

absolute value;

HAHA MRS CHUA IS SO CUTE!! (:


i couldnt stop laughing once i think of this photo HAHAHA mrs chua is so cute!in her nanyang uniform and she insists that she must have a special pose for every photo she takes.so wanteng suggested this 1 2 3 4 5 thing haha and THERE!SHE'S THREE!can you spot her! :D btw ignore that orange thing it looks weird but its there on purpose to cover up MY FATSSSS (:


<3 <3 <3 I LOVE MRS WONG!


haha i so love mrs wong(: she got the most caring teacher award too aww(: proves how wonderful she is.bio are the only lessons i look forward to since the start of this year.all thanks to her <3 it's hard to be a good teacher.really(:

well.the last teacher's day in nanyang i suppose(: alot of good teachers have come and left and yeah we're leaving soon too and though they are those few still here i will always be grateful to fab people like mrs wong and mrs chua who helped to brighten up my life in nanyang! <3

haha and i realised there are more and more "last" things/events/activities/celebrations/WHATEVERS as time passes.

on a random note my grandma is getting more and more irritating.and i am reallyREALLY going to HATE THE SEPTEMBER HOLIDAYS OMGGG HOW I * HER.

we have only missed one lesson of dance and im already missing it and the dancers.well sigh ):

when it all falls apart;